i am ready to scream, cry and throw things. i want to bang my head into my desk, walk away and go back to sleep. wake up next century maybe.
maybe then my shit will be cool and retro and people will actually be looking for it.
i feel like im standing on the highest hill i can find shouting at the top of my voice, and looking around realizing its a mole hill in a tornado and no one can hear me.
even when i work for hours on a FB page for my shit so its easier to spread i barely get likes from my friends. no one shares it with others? does it just suck and no one is telling me? is it embarrasing to share shit from your friends instead of some random party on the internets? I know they are as broke as i am, but does it cost anything to hit "share"? i cant pay for advertising, but i thought id get a little more support from the people that keep telling me in person my shit is sooo cool.
there are people out there doing shit that isnt half as creative or labor intensive that are getting mad reviews because they are trendy, or riding the coattails of a fandom.
I want to go back to making coats and cloaks, but i dOnt have the money to invest in the fabric and my fabric hoarde is out of state. corsets... ditto, the boning is what kills that budget. i need to get more pics when i make shit. that way i could have a portfolio to get commissions with. the other problem is a lot of my good patterns have gotten lost from use... or missing pieces... and now they are out of print. i hate that. especially with the costume ones
i do this cause i love it, cause i have day dreams i want to see made real. but i cant do it if i cant afford food and rent and my storage unit etc. am i wasting my time? i look at my neighbors and i get jealous of the fact that they can live without this need for creativity, because then they can afford cool stuff and comfortable lives. ya know with real food and heathcare?